Failure sucks! In fact, some people won't even try new things just to avoid it all together, but want to know a secret? We're all going to experience rejection one way or the other, like Thanos, it's inevitable - it might even feel like you're dusting away sometimes- especially when you're putting yourself in a position where you can be rejected, like in an interview process.

We just gotta persevere!! So let's talk about some of the ways we can internalize that feedback in a productive way, after processing our feelings, of course.

What we can control

We first need to identify there are different types of situations where you can fail according to the Harvard Business Review but why is this important? It will help you avoid the blame that comes with that rejection, being aware that there are things out of your control that play a big factor in it.

We have a pretty broad spectrum of reasons for failure, but we can then separate them into categories:

Preventable or 'Blameworthy'*. These are those that are easily preventables like Deviance, Inattention, Lack of Ability.
Complexity-related. Those that the process, training or task is too difficult or wasn't explained correctly. Like Task Challenge, Process Complexity and Uncertainty.
Intelligent failures. These are known as good failures like Uncertainty, Hypothesis Testing and Exploratory Testing; these are good failures because they helps create a new conversation based on the curiosity of experimenting with new ideas.

*We're not going to be using the word Blameworthy from now on; we're using preventables instead.

But how is knowing this going to help you when you're facing failure next time? Well, my friend, now you know to only focus on the things you can control and those are the preventable failures.

This is where a bit of work is required, my friend, not feeling prepared enough? Gotta practice. Not understanding what was asked? Ask clarifying questions. Want to do it another way? Talk it out.

Remember, it's a two-way conversation; the sooner you realize it, the better it'll be. You're interviewing them too.

What we can't control

But, what if even when you have done your best, you still get rejected?? Ugh! It's part of the game, my friend; nothing personal, i assure you. Best we can do at this point is learn from it, so here are some things you can learn and apply next time. -I really hope you won't need it as I'm rooting for you to succeed, but it's something we can't avoid-.

You learn flexibility: We now have a new way of overcoming an obstacle, or other ideas that could work even better. Innovation is critical when you're learning. Like Thomas Edison once said:

"I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work."
This is a good time to reassess our goals: We can break our big goals into little ones. We often tend to focus on the finish line instead of the thousand of little milestones we cross on our way there.
FAILURE IS NOT FINAL!! That's not the end of your career, my friend! If anything, it's just starting because you're taking the necessary steps to get to where you want to be. Remember, failure always comes before success.
Adopt a growth mindset: They help you do a deep reflection on yourself. You might never know what you're capable of; this will make you adopt a growth mindset that embraces challenging situations.

“You may encounter many defeats, but you must not be defeated. In fact, it may be necessary to encounter defeats, so you can know who you are, what you can rise from, and how you can still come out of it.” ― Maya Angelou

Caring words from a friend

Listen, it honestly sucks! It really takes a toll on you, I know, but those who don't fail are not doing anything fun. If fear of failure is something you worry constantly about, just know that you'll never know your true potential until you try new things that scare you. It's about adopting a hopeful, optimistic and kind mentality towards ourselves, instead of seeing it as failing; see it as an opportunity you dared to take.

This is just part of a new learning journey, what tools can we pick up? What can we take away from this? As long as you're pursuing your dreams, you cannot scape it, so it's best to befriend it.

AN: As I worked on this article I got a rejection email so this was destined hahaha

Thank you so much for reading, my friend! :] I really hope you leave this article with a lighter heart, if you have anything to add don't hesitate to leave a comment.

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How failure leads to success

Table of contents

What we can control

What we can't control

Caring words from a friend